In one of our sessions my coach pointed to shadow that she called ‘Utopia complex’. An example of it is to believe stuff like ‘If everyone does Y then there won’t be X in the world.’ So maybe if everyone educated themselves there won’t be pollution. Or if my coworkers did their job well, everything would be smooth at work and not messy. Or if my partner listened to me we would never have misunderstandings.’ This pattern is picking a utopian non-existing future which is considered better than the present and blaming the lack of that on a certain person, group of people or behavior. Aside from the blame there is hidden violence and forceful energy in the utopian vision. When we own all the parts of this as parts of self, we can carefully follow the energy and find the part of us that has been excluded. The part at which this violence and forceful energy has been directed. The part of us that has been under attack and that we wish not to have to maintain the utopia. The part of us that has been told ‘If you were different or if you weren’t here, everything would be so much better!’. This inner work is what aligns us with our reality.The resistance to it is resistance to ourselves. The truth is, there is no other place than reality.
My favorite one that we caught me with is:
If my partner did more housework, I would have more time to work on all my projects and my projects would somehow fix most of my concerns with the material world.
How a little more housework can fix the world!